Next level flattery…
I think one of the best things in the world is having someone approach me and tell me how much they have enjoyed bands I have played in, or are still in. It really makes me super happy, or want to poop. I have recently discovered on the Youtubez a lot of people covering jamz I have played on. IT IS FUCKING AWESOME! Not only because they play the jams way better than me, but they also don’t look shitty drunk and about to throw up. Also, lack of man tits. Here are some of my favorites with useless but witty comments from me.
DUDE #1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRjiZznuIBk
Where the fuck is this kids face? That could be from president W shredding those drums. This kid has cred though, because he is wearing Vans. Seriously though, he does an amazing job on one of the worst songs ever. He plows right through the minus the bear ripoff part and right through the next minus the bear ripoff part.
DUDE #2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYSYTg1q3vA
The first parts of this song are pretty hard. After all these years I cannot even play this song anymore. This kid shredz it. My only complaint is he looks like he is having a seizure when he hits his symbol. Or some kind of epileptic fit. I know what epilepsy looks like, I had a girlfriend who had it. Other thoughts: Super V neck, Jimi Hendrix, shitty laptops, weed.
DUDE #3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lU9fbg1EjyM&feature=related
Does he even have a floor tom? Should he buy cooler shorts, or a floor tom? I would go with shorts, the ladies like cool shorts better than floor toms.
DUDE #4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju8K3SSLeS8&feature=related
This dude knows how to use the fills to get the ladies. Maybe that is why I have always sucked with the ladies. Not enough drums and I barely know how to play them. Maybe I should get a double bass pedal? I did have this idea once to play on a platform that was on wheels and had ropes tied to it. Then I would have people pull me around while shredding. Maybe there would be a stripper pole on it. Yea, a stripper pole for sure.
DUDE #5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpHzluY1K9g
This is my cousin. He is a next level shredder and he is like 11. Wait I think he is 17 now. Either way. I can’t even play guitar and he plays both guitar and drums. I bet you he gets so many ladies because of that one man band shit. He wants to join the military. Say no to the green machine. Say yes to music, ghost riding the whip, drugs, beer, lots of beer, house shows, drums, pecan pie, karate, Karate, and The Dawson River Kids.
Can someone please cover and Ape Up! song? That would make my Christmas awesome.
UPDATES!
HOLY SHIT! Where the hell have I been you ask? Working my butt off to make it in this crazy world! That is where! I have recently uncovered a bunch of old stuff. Some real interesting, some funny. All of it made me miss my friends for sure. <3
McDoogal (first band ever content, seriously)
Why the fuck am I showing people this…
Info: Remember what it was like to be 16 and think it was awesome to loop that same riff through a three minute song? Or to just disregard tempos at all cost? I do, and it was fucking awesome. It did not matter at all. This video is amazing because it really made me remember why I started playing music in the first place. It was a reason to get together with your friends and goof off. We did not care about how many plays we got on the internet because that shit did not even exist yet! We sent actual packages to labels to ask them to sign us with some goofy sincere note. We never got responses back and we did not care, we were living the dream of being in a shitty high school punk band. But in all honesty, punk aside, we fucking sucked…
I believe this video was shot in the winter of ‘01 and this literally the first song of the first show I ever played. I was so nervous the night before that I did not sleep. Right after we played I had to leave to go make pizza at Papa Johns. AWESOME. The band consisted of Rachel, Matt, Scott and me. I had only been playing the drums at this point for about four months, and it shows. Also notice how I use the same drum setup! Rachel and Matt were dating while the band was going on, so that sometimes made things awkward, but for the most part it was good. Our whole crew of friends would come together on Friday nights to watch us practice and offer their false sentiments. “Your band is soooooo good!” Thanks a lot assholes for lying! This whole post is kind of boring and sentimental, so I will leave you with a story about my first girlfriend ever.
So when I was in high school I had a girlfriend, like most normal sixteen year old guys. Lets just call her, Kate. That is her real name. I am pretty sure, even to this day, she was a compulsive liar about her health for attention. So whenever we would get into a fight she would pass out in a fit of “epilepsy”. So at one point she had to wear this huge black heart monitor on her belt. It was huge, like the black box recorder on an airplane. And us all being good people made fun of her constantly about it. The breaking point came when she was walking down the stairs at one of our cool guy practices and I asked, “Did Zack Morris successfully reach you on your pager?” She was pissed. Also while she was wearing the Zack Morris pager device, she was not allowed to do any physical activity that would disrupt the Zack Morris pager device. So we would all just randomly shake her. Good times! Well, here you go. Enjoy the time capsule.
Bonus: In the background you will see our friend Dave and for whatever reason he is dressed up like a complete idiot.
Link:
http://www.youtube.com/user/thrashday?feature=mhee#p/a/u/0/VVDgXgxWVFo
Landlock’d (obnoxious on the radio content)
Info: Here is a little diddy for you. As you kind of already know, Landlock’d was a band featuring my good buds Peter J. Helmis and Mike Bell. What you do not know is that we had a super secret hidden member named Mike Skane who was quite possibly one of the best dudes of all time. Here are some stories about Mike. One time we had a contest to see who could wear shitty jean shorts longest. Mike won by a long shot, and I am pretty sure he is still wearing those fucking things. Another time Mike was trying to have sex with his girlfriend, so I shot his door with a paintball gun. Oh yea… At one point Mike and I discovered that there was an Odwalla distribution center nearby our old apartment. We used to go dumpster diving like all super cool punks used to do until one day we discovered that they left all the doors open to their trucks. This is what our fridge used to look like on a daily basis:
http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/mikeskane/1.jpg
We basically lived off Odwalla for months. We even got the crazy protein bars. Fucking boxes and boxes of them. Mike was even the first to compare Algernon to Cap’n Jazz, and then I lit his hair on fire. Long story short, Mike is one of the greatest guys ever, and if you guys want I can dedicate a bunch of posts to Mike Skane stories later on. But this post is about how shitty he plays the tambourine and woodblock. Seriously, how do you fuck that up? He did.
I had totally forgotten we were even on the radio until Peter reminded me. I then figured no one had it and that the Landlock’d recording would be lost forever. I was wrong and I asked someone (I forget who) and they sent me all these jamz. We recorded this the same night as the Algernon radio set (which I will post later) because Peter said we would not play unless Landlock’d played. It worked, and it was awesome. So for your listening pleasure: Three drunk musicians and one drunk guy who cannot play the tambourine or woodblock.
BONUS: On one of the tracks Mike asks if he can get more bathing suit in his monitor. Surf rock FTW!
Holy shit! I am back! New band Content!
Sorry for my long absence. I have been unemployed and in January I moved from Boston to NYC. Since I have been here I started a super sweet band with some super cool buds. The band is called Hands. This is one song from an upcoming demo that I am sure I will post on here at some point. We are also recording a full length in January with our good bud Joegernon. I have a lot more stuff coming that I have been collecting over the past year. Some bad, some real bad. But I can assure you it is all shitty. Enjoy!
http://www.mediafire.com/file/8tq62s55kb43bg2/Hands_Growing%20Vines.mp3.zip
Updates!
I just graduated college and I took a vacation that consisted mostly of going to work and writing the new Ape Up! full length. I will have new shit going up soon plus a daily posting of tour stories, or whatever funny stories I have that I can tell you.
Hot Dudes (best band name ever content)
Yes, I was one half of a band with the best band name ever. Photo above was taken at the Rudich Ranch in March of ‘09. I am partying hard mid song with some buds.
Info: Hot Dudes was awesome! Probably one of the funniest bands I have ever been in. Let me share some facts with you. Jeremy (the other half) can recite Dumb and Dumber line by line from memory. He also pissed off my sisters ex-boyfriend when he told her the name Gold Eyes (the original name of Hot Dudes) was about how you look a girl in the eyes when you have sex with her, while intently staring at my sister. Jeremy was a funny guy and meant no harm but my sisters ex-boyfriend was kind of a turd. Jeremy also at some point wrote “BONG” on my winter jacket. We had close to ten songs written but we only recorded five of them. We then promptly forgot the other five. Hot Dudes officially stopped being a band in the summer of ‘09 but we recently played 2 piece fest just to make it a bit sexier, by the request of Peter of course. This EP is one of the only recordings that I make a singing appearance on, and it is awful. A funny story about the recording. It was recorded by my really close friend Nate Manware at his parents home in CT. He offered to do the recording for free but we had to pick him up in Boston and drive him to his house. But I think he only wanted to record us for free so he could take his laundry home so his mom could do it. But she did make us pepperoni bread and we drank a 30 pack of some whack beer. Also Andrew Dunn has a video that I will post shortly of our first weekend tour. Good times!
Algernon Cadwallader (un-released 7”)
Well everyone has these songs but I am pretty sure you do not have these versions!
Info: These are the two original recordings of Serial Killer Status and Katies Conscious. We recorded these in late 2006 or early 2007. They were slated to be on a split with our good buds in Monument but for some reason it never happened and these songs got canned. The only person I ever knew who got a hold of them was Roland because he is a creep. I actually prefer these versions to the ones we recorded on the full length. There is a lot more energy and they are played a bit slower which I like, because live we used to rock super hard and naturally the songs got a bit faster, like the way it is recorded on the full length. These may be my two favorite songs I have ever been a part of. Good times with good friends makes for great music!
Landlock’d (Shark Attack Content!)
Oh man where to even begin on this one!
Info: So while recording the Pianoeater demo there was a lot of jamming going on at Peters house and this is one of bands that resulted from all of that. This band is Peter J. Helmis, Mike Bell, and me. Mike Skane even made an appearance (more about that later). This is our Dick Dale worship band because who does not like good surf rock. The most amazing part of this band is Peters ability to shred surf guitar. We played two shows. One live on the radio (I will post it when I find it, and believe me I will), and the other in the basement of the Be Happy House. Let me tell you a bit about these shows. When Landlock’d played a show you were required to wear full surf gear. We would always dress in cut off jeans and have sunscreen on our noses. I even remember an inflatable shark and someone literally crowd surfing on a surfboard. The best part about the radio show was when Mike Skane kept asking if he could have more bathing suit in his monitor and the fact that he was to drunk to woodblock. Good times!
Ape Up! (3 unreleased songs!)
These are three jams who have never seen the light of day! Well two songs somehow people got but the third one is brand new!
Info: These songs were written and recorded in the fall of 2009. The people on these songs are: Billy Jackson, Roland Jackson, Matt Angelesanto, and me. This is my most current band and one of my favorites. My drum parts are solid and more original than my older bands. The picture above is literally the first time I ever used chat roulette.
