Tazzography

rattrapmotherfuckergothlick36: carly rae jepsen singing “call...

Wed, 26 Sep 2012 23:09:58 -0400

carly rae jepsen singing “call me maybe” over algernon cadwallader’s “horror”

surprisingly fitting

Next level flattery...

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 14:37:56 -0500

I think one of the best things in the world is having someone approach me and tell me how much they have enjoyed bands I have played in, or are still in. It really makes me super happy, or want to poop. I have recently discovered on the Youtubez a lot of people covering jamz I have played on. IT IS FUCKING AWESOME! Not only because they play the jams way better than me, but they also don’t look shitty drunk and about to throw up. Also, lack of man tits. Here are some of my favorites with useless but witty comments from me.

DUDE #1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRjiZznuIBk

Where the fuck is this kids face? That could be from president W shredding those drums. This kid has cred though, because he is wearing Vans. Seriously though, he does an amazing job on one of the worst songs ever. He plows right through the minus the bear ripoff part and right through the next minus the bear ripoff part.

DUDE #2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYSYTg1q3vA

The first parts of this song are pretty hard. After all these years I cannot even play this song anymore. This kid shredz it. My only complaint is he looks like he is having a seizure when he hits his symbol. Or some kind of epileptic fit. I know what epilepsy looks like, I had a girlfriend who had it. Other thoughts: Super V neck, Jimi Hendrix, shitty laptops, weed.

DUDE #3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lU9fbg1EjyM&feature=related

Does he even have a floor tom? Should he buy cooler shorts, or a floor tom? I would go with shorts, the ladies like cool shorts better than floor toms.

DUDE #4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju8K3SSLeS8&feature=related

This dude knows how to use the fills to get the ladies. Maybe that is why I have always sucked with the ladies. Not enough drums and I barely know how to play them. Maybe I should get a double bass pedal? I did have this idea once to play on a platform that was on wheels and had ropes tied to it. Then I would have people pull me around while shredding. Maybe there would be a stripper pole on it. Yea, a stripper pole for sure.

DUDE #5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpHzluY1K9g

This is my cousin. He is a next level shredder and he is like 11. Wait I think he is 17 now. Either way. I can’t even play guitar and he plays both guitar and drums. I bet you he gets so many ladies because of that one man band shit. He wants to join the military. Say no to the green machine. Say yes to music, ghost riding the whip, drugs, beer, lots of beer, house shows, drums, pecan pie, karate, Karate, and The Dawson River Kids.

Can someone please cover and Ape Up! song? That would make my Christmas awesome.

UPDATES!

Sun, 09 Oct 2011 16:31:10 -0400

HOLY SHIT! Where the hell have I been you ask? Working my butt off to make it in this crazy world! That is where! I have recently uncovered a bunch of old stuff. Some real interesting, some funny. All of it made me miss my friends for sure. <3

McDoogal (first band ever content, seriously)

Fri, 02 Sep 2011 09:52:51 -0400

Why the fuck am I showing people this…

Info: Remember what it was like to be 16 and think it was awesome to loop that same riff through a three minute song? Or to just disregard tempos at all cost? I do, and it was fucking awesome. It did not matter at all. This video is amazing because it really made me remember why I started playing music in the first place. It was a reason to get together with your friends and goof off. We did not care about how many plays we got on the internet because that shit did not even exist yet! We sent actual packages to labels to ask them to sign us with some goofy sincere note. We never got responses back and we did not care, we were living the dream of being in a shitty high school punk band. But in all honesty, punk aside, we fucking sucked…

I believe this video was shot in the winter of ‘01 and this literally the first song of the first show I ever played. I was so nervous the night before that I did not sleep. Right after we played I had to leave to go make pizza at Papa Johns. AWESOME. The band consisted of Rachel, Matt, Scott and me. I had only been playing the drums at this point for about four months, and it shows. Also notice how I use the same drum setup! Rachel and Matt were dating while the band was going on, so that sometimes made things awkward, but for the most part it was good. Our whole crew of friends would come together on Friday nights to watch us practice and offer their false sentiments. “Your band is soooooo good!” Thanks a lot assholes for lying! This whole post is kind of boring and sentimental, so I will leave you with a story about my first girlfriend ever.

So when I was in high school I had a girlfriend, like most normal sixteen year old guys. Lets just call her, Kate. That is her real name. I am pretty sure, even to this day, she was a compulsive liar about her health for attention. So whenever we would get into a fight she would pass out in a fit of “epilepsy”. So at one point she had to wear this huge black heart monitor on her belt. It was huge, like the black box recorder on an airplane. And us all being good people made fun of her constantly about it. The breaking point came when she was walking down the stairs at one of our cool guy practices and I asked, “Did Zack Morris successfully reach you on your pager?” She was pissed. Also while she was wearing the Zack Morris pager device, she was not allowed to do any physical activity that would disrupt the Zack Morris pager device. So we would all just randomly shake her. Good times! Well, here you go. Enjoy the time capsule.

Bonus: In the background you will see our friend Dave and for whatever reason he is dressed up like a complete idiot.

Link:
http://www.youtube.com/user/thrashday?feature=mhee#p/a/u/0/VVDgXgxWVFo

Landlock'd (obnoxious on the radio content)

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 21:06:41 -0400

Info: Here is a little diddy for you. As you kind of already know, Landlock’d was a band featuring my good buds Peter J. Helmis and Mike Bell. What you do not know is that we had a super secret hidden member named Mike Skane who was quite possibly one of the best dudes of all time. Here are some stories about Mike. One time we had a contest to see who could wear shitty jean shorts longest. Mike won by a long shot, and I am pretty sure he is still wearing those fucking things. Another time Mike was trying to have sex with his girlfriend, so I shot his door with a paintball gun. Oh yea… At one point Mike and I discovered that there was an Odwalla distribution center nearby our old apartment. We used to go dumpster diving like all super cool punks used to do until one day we discovered that they left all the doors open to their trucks. This is what our fridge used to look like on a daily basis:

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/mikeskane/1.jpg

We basically lived off Odwalla for months. We even got the crazy protein bars. Fucking boxes and boxes of them. Mike was even the first to compare Algernon to Cap’n Jazz, and then I lit his hair on fire. Long story short, Mike is one of the greatest guys ever, and if you guys want I can dedicate a bunch of posts to Mike Skane stories later on. But this post is about how shitty he plays the tambourine and woodblock. Seriously, how do you fuck that up? He did.

I had totally forgotten we were even on the radio until Peter reminded me. I then figured no one had it and that the Landlock’d recording would be lost forever. I was wrong and I asked someone (I forget who) and they sent me all these jamz. We recorded this the same night as the Algernon radio set (which I will post later) because Peter said we would not play unless Landlock’d played. It worked, and it was awesome. So for your listening pleasure: Three drunk musicians and one drunk guy who cannot play the tambourine or woodblock.

BONUS: On one of the tracks Mike asks if he can get more bathing suit in his monitor. Surf rock FTW!

Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?402v5yxoiu9dmii

Holy shit! I am back! New band Content!

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 14:58:25 -0400

Sorry for my long absence. I have been unemployed and in January I moved from Boston to NYC. Since I have been here I started a super sweet band with some super cool buds. The band is called Hands. This is one song from an upcoming demo that I am sure I will post on here at some point. We are also recording a full length in January with our good bud Joegernon. I have a lot more stuff coming that I have been collecting over the past year. Some bad, some real bad. But I can assure you it is all shitty. Enjoy!

http://www.mediafire.com/file/8tq62s55kb43bg2/Hands_Growing%20Vines.mp3.zip

Updates!

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 20:44:20 -0400

I just graduated college and I took a vacation that consisted mostly of going to work and writing the new Ape Up! full length. I will have new shit going up soon plus a daily posting of tour stories, or whatever funny stories I have that I can tell you.

Hot Dudes (best band name ever content)

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 16:38:00 -0400

Yes, I was one half of a band with the best band name ever. Photo above was taken at the Rudich Ranch in March of ‘09. I am partying hard mid song with some buds.

Info: Hot Dudes was awesome! Probably one of the funniest bands I have ever been in. Let me share some facts with you. Jeremy (the other half) can recite Dumb and Dumber line by line from memory. He also pissed off my sisters ex-boyfriend when he told her the name Gold Eyes (the original name of Hot Dudes) was about how you look a girl in the eyes when you have sex with her, while intently staring at my sister. Jeremy was a funny guy and meant no harm but my sisters ex-boyfriend was kind of a turd. Jeremy also at some point wrote “BONG” on my winter jacket. We had close to ten songs written but we only recorded five of them. We then promptly forgot the other five. Hot Dudes officially stopped being a band in the summer of ‘09 but we recently played 2 piece fest just to make it a bit sexier, by the request of Peter of course. This EP is one of the only recordings that I make a singing appearance on, and it is awful. A funny story about the recording. It was recorded by my really close friend Nate Manware at his parents home in CT. He offered to do the recording for free but we had to pick him up in Boston and drive him to his house. But I think he only wanted to record us for free so he could take his laundry home so his mom could do it. But she did make us pepperoni bread and we drank a 30 pack of some whack beer. Also Andrew Dunn has a video that I will post shortly of our first weekend tour. Good times!

Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?z00oiemfmmn

Algernon Cadwallader (un-released 7")

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 10:12:00 -0400

Well everyone has these songs but I am pretty sure you do not have these versions!

Info: These are the two original recordings of Serial Killer Status and Katies Conscious. We recorded these in late 2006 or early 2007. They were slated to be on a split with our good buds in Monument but for some reason it never happened and these songs got canned. The only person I ever knew who got a hold of them was Roland because he is a creep. I actually prefer these versions to the ones we recorded on the full length. There is a lot more energy and they are played a bit slower which I like, because live we used to rock super hard and naturally the songs got a bit faster, like the way it is recorded on the full length. These may be my two favorite songs I have ever been a part of. Good times with good friends makes for great music!

Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?zk3mmxdmtzd

Landlock'd (Shark Attack Content!)

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 13:11:08 -0400

Oh man where to even begin on this one!

Info: So while recording the Pianoeater demo there was a lot of jamming going on at Peters house and this is one of bands that resulted from all of that. This band is Peter J. Helmis, Mike Bell, and me. Mike Skane even made an appearance (more about that later). This is our Dick Dale worship band because who does not like good surf rock. The most amazing part of this band is Peters ability to shred surf guitar. We played two shows. One live on the radio (I will post it when I find it, and believe me I will), and the other in the basement of the Be Happy House. Let me tell you a bit about these shows. When Landlock’d played a show you were required to wear full surf gear. We would always dress in cut off jeans and have sunscreen on our noses. I even remember an inflatable shark and someone literally crowd surfing on a surfboard. The best part about the radio show was when Mike Skane kept asking if he could have more bathing suit in his monitor and the fact that he was to drunk to woodblock. Good times!

Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?oy3yj5uduwe

Ape Up! (3 unreleased songs!)

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 12:28:59 -0400

These are three jams who have never seen the light of day! Well two songs somehow people got but the third one is brand new!

Info: These songs were written and recorded in the fall of 2009. The people on these songs are: Billy Jackson, Roland Jackson, Matt Angelesanto, and me. This is my most current band and one of my favorites. My drum parts are solid and more original than my older bands. The picture above is literally the first time I ever used chat roulette.

Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ttlj2zymh1g

Peter the Pianoeater Tour CD-R

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 10:21:00 -0400

This above picture was taken at my apartment in Philadelphia, PA in the winter of 2005. My apartment was called The Lazerhouse and we did quite a few shows. I believe Craig Woods played this show also. In the photo is my friend Greg who is currently an idiot.

Info: These five songs are re-recorded Pianoeater jams. The difference is that these are a full band recording instead of acoustic. I think maybe one of them was new but I have no idea. This was recorded in the summer of 2006 in Peters super hot attic at his moms house. On this recording is Peter J. Helmis, Colin Mahoney, and me. A few notes about this recording. This is my last recording I used my acrylic drums on. Shortly after I purchased my slingerlands which I still use today.

BONUS EDIT: MIKE BELL PLAYS ALL THE HOOKS!

Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ifmmh1nqzng

Peter the Pianoeater/Algernon Cadwallader (1 song)

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 13:19:07 -0400

This song is pretty fucking awesome.

Info: This song was written at an Algernon Cadwallader practice in the winter of 2005. We wrote this song with Peter playing guitar because early on Colin did not want to play the guitar. This song may have been originally a Halfway To Holland jam but it was written by Algernon Cadwallader. It was then scrapped because we told Colin to stop being a baby and we eventually recorded it as a Peter The Pianoeater song for his tour CD-R. On this song is Peter J. Helmis (Algernon Cadwallader), Colin Mahoney (Old Algernon guitar player) and me.The song is called “You Take the High Road” and I am pretty sure Peter recorded it over a Michael Jackson cassette.

Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?mjjmltytduz

Marked For Life (1 song)

Thu, 08 Apr 2010 10:08:04 -0400

This was a super short lived band. I think maybe three months? We played two shows. One in Allston, MA and the other in New Jersey. The show is Allston sucked ass because it took like four days to get there because Dans GPS took us on back roads the whole way from Philly and the show in Jersey sucked equally as bad and Dan sprained his ankle on a pink flamingo or some shit. This is only one song and I will post the whole demo when I get it….

Info: Marked For Life was Dan O’donnel, Jake Fakejew, Matt Cliver, and me. This demo was recorded in early December of 2006 and sounds really pissed off now that I listen back. This was a style of music I had always wanted to do and I think we had a lot of fun with it. When we recorded these songs I made it a point to use none of my drums so I would sound even worse than usual. The photo above was taken after the Allston show. The van in the background is the van peter bought for $250 and a bag of weed. I was there for the transaction and it was the shadiest thing ever. Just ask Peter about it!

Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ht22wm5jjzm

Blowjob Mardigras (3 songs)

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 12:33:41 -0400

This may be this greatest band of all time. This is three songs of drum machine melt your face hardcore.

Info: This band is Kevin, Jake, Sweet Dubz, and me. These songs were recorded during a very drunk night in Jakes south st apartment. I did not play drums on these but I did program them. We also forgot a guitar so we used a bass instead. We played a show once. All I will say is we had three strobe lights and I had a drum solo. There was also the lamest mosh pit I have ever seen. Full band stuff will be uploaded eventually with some hilarious bonus tracks.

Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?yjyzmjmmo5o

the craig, nick, peter band jamzzzzzz

Tue, 06 Apr 2010 10:27:04 -0400

These are the two songs that made me put this whole project together. I was scanning my old email yesterday and found these gems.

Info: This band was Peter J. Helmis (Algernon Cadwallader), Craig Woods (Towers, Elder) and Me. These songs were recorded on a Radioshack tape cassette recorder in the basement of the Be Happy House in October of 2005. After listening to these songs I got really bummed out. First, these songs are fucking awesome. Second, I miss my friends a lot. The band never received a name so we will call it what Craig labeled the folder, which is the title of the post. Notice his lack of capitalizing anything.

Link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?35wn5ncimbt

Marigold (video)

Tue, 06 Apr 2010 03:10:04 -0400

Just found this! This is from when we played the Circa Survive record release. I was terrified! Way to many people and the stage was huge. Algernon Cadwallader played there once also but with Up Up Down Down. That was a lot more fun! I think there is also footage from some club in the middle of PA, I cannot remember the name.

Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awgy0_3c6ec&feature=related

Here Tomorrow (photos)

Tue, 06 Apr 2010 02:41:14 -0400

So this band happened….. I was maybe 19 in these photos and these may have been some of the best times I have ever had in my life. If you think these photos are awesome wait until you hear the music. I tried to get a reunion show together earlier this year. No one went for it. There will be a lot more to come from this band I promise you that!

Photo: Me and my buddy Jason. Jason always look cool playing his instruments.

Photo: What the fuck do you even say about this?

Photo: Notice how I even had a beer gut at 19. Also notice my to cool for school punk rock attitude.

Marigold (Audible to Animals)

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 14:58:00 -0400

So for my first post I thought I would make it something special. This is a band that I was lucky enough to do with two of my best friends and I am lucky enough to still be friends with them today. If it was not for this band I would never of met half of my friends or have been lucky enough to be in so many great bands (and not so great ones). Also because of this band I met my slamming hot girlfriend who in the middle of the night last night woke me up, pointed to me and told me no licking (if you want the full story just ask, but I promise you it is not sexual at all).

Info: This band was Me, Jason Wilson, Scotty Kurtain and Vadim Taver. Audible to Animals was recorded in the summer of 2005. This was a legit record put out by some whack label from NYC. We recorded it with J. Robbins (he is the fucking man). Also here is an embarrassing video Jason made about recording the record. I also quit this band right after I recorded my drum tracks.There is some really classic Real World style interviews that Jason did alone of himself. Also, this is the last recorded appearance of my rack tom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqBkZrB-_lA

link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?zmryegj3f0q

What the hell is this shit?

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 14:28:05 -0400

This is a place where from time to time as I dig up more old band stuff I will post it here for you to listen to or see. I will post a bio or something soon.